Just Friends
Before Unplugging, I had lots of female friends in high school and in my early college years.
From the outside looking in, you’d think I was very successful with girls. There was just one problem.
I was sexually attracted to them. They weren’t attracted to me.
There was a girl in particular that I remember hanging out with a lot in high school, that I later took a liking to when we began going to college together. When I made a move on her, she stopped me and told me, “You’re so nice to me…You’ve always been there for me. I don’t want to ruin our friendship if we were to get physical.”
Fucking hell, man!
Why Does This Shit Happen?
Most human relationships follow some sort of exchange, according to Social Exchange Theory.
In satisfactory relationships, the exchange is balanced and of equal value. Your efforts and the other’s efforts are both satisfying to each other. You reward one another with something of equal or greater value when something is given.
In unhappy relationships, exchange is imbalanced. Your efforts are not rewarded according to your expectations. This is the symptom of what guys dub the “friend zone.”
It happens when one person (man or woman) has a romantic or sexual affection for the other, but the other does not reciprocate such feelings. The two most common cases are where:
- A guy wants to hook up with/date a specific girl he really likes, but she only wants to be platonic.
- A girl wants to date/hook up with a specific guy she really likes, but the guy isn’t attracted to her, or he just wants sex without committing to her.
“So, Why Am I Here Anyway?”
Yes, it sucks. Most of the time when it happens to you, it’s actually your own fault. That’s right, you placed yourself there.
You established a set of “rules,” if you will; a specific frame between you and the woman where you fulfill her emotional needs for intimacy and commitment, but she fulfills none of your sexual or romantic desires.
You likely hang out with her as often as you can. You probably rearrange your schedule to accommodate seeing her or helping her out with things. You’re most likely her shoulder-to-cry-on when Players fuck with her head. You’re Johnny-On-The-Spot!
But, remember what the great Red Pill author Rollo Tomassi said:
“Women have boyfriends and girlfriends. If you’re not fucking her, you’re her girlfriend.”
Helping her move, watching movies together, helping her pick out clothing, all of this is fine and dandy if you are friends!
You’re a man. You want her. You have a penis. Stop bullshitting yourself.
If you’re taking her out for drinks, buying her dinner, and being her emotional tampon, guess what? She’s going to love what you do for her, but she’s not going to love you. She’ll be very happy she’s got such a good friend who does all these amazing things for her. And all you get in return is blue balls. Bummer.
You chose to give your time, attention, and money, your three most valuable resources, without ever establishing that you desire her sexually. You chose to create an unequal relationship where you are not getting your needs met.
Do you really think if you told her, “I’m going to take you out to dinner but only if we can fuck later,” she would have agreed to go out that night? Not a chance.
For all coaching inquiries, please contact me directly at awakenthesavage@gmail.com and I will answer you as soon as I can!
Let’s get you in the Game to win.
